What Do Men Want?
What men say they want, what they actually choose, and where the stereotypes get it wrong.
Tools that go with this guide.
What men say they want
In David Buss's famous study of 37 cultures, men and women both ranked kindness and intelligence near the top of their lists. Men placed more weight than women on physical attractiveness and youth.
What men actually choose
Speed-dating studies find that stated preferences don't always predict choices. People of both sexes are drawn to attractiveness and similarity, then stay for warmth, humor and reliability.
Where you fit
See how you score with the Dating Market Value Calculator, or flip the question and read what women want. For signs a man is interested, see signs he likes you.
Frequently asked questions
What do men find most attractive?
Surveys point to looks, warmth and a sense of humor.
Do men care about money?
Less than women do in most surveys, but more than they used to.
What do men want in a relationship?
Respect, affection, loyalty and fun come up most.